You've Made a Mockery of Roommate Relations

In my nearly 5 years of living with roommates, I've never been so disappointed. I don't know what I did to be treated this way in my own apartment, the only place in the world where I can fling my personal belongings all over the house and not be forced to pick them up. A man's apartment is his castle and if I can't hang my dirty underwear from the handle of our refrigerator then this is the furthest thing from my fortress. You guys used to be cool with the way I blatantly abused your good will and patience. You expect courtesy, consideration and respect now? I laugh in your face and say you've made a mockery of roommate relations.

If you could see things the way I see them you would understand that there is a roommate's code which I live by. It's a rather long set of standards and expectations but to sum it up it says, "You live here so you can do whatever you want with no regard for others." I know that I only pay a fourth of the rent but that isn't going to stop me from taking advantage of you guys to the fullest.

As I take 45 minute showers in our only bathroom, I hope you take that time to consider what you've done to the general idea of roommate relations. A roommate should not have to change his lifestyle to accommodate others, not in a free country like America. I'm a pretty easy going guy but that's where I draw the line. I'm not going to stop leaving the lights on early in the morning and leaving the house without shutting the door because that would just be turning my back on my principles. And I never turn my back on my principles.

So next time you want to call me out for stinking up the entire apartment by burning food or making disproportionately incredible loud amounts of sound as you are trying to sleep, just remember what it means to be a roommate- rolling over and taking it.