Mother Nature thought she gave me quite a scare this past week. My partner-in-crime and I were speeding down the road in the greatest state in the USA (not Idaho mind you) after a night of debauchery and ill will, and a huge deer just jumped out of oblivion and into our path. Had I been the one driving I could have easily avoided the suicidal mammal. Even though my partner and I were spawned from the same pit of eternal darkness, I am the one who possesses the quick reflexes and hatred for all of God's creations.
This unfortunate little episode was nothing but a gnat at my BBQ of life. Annoying but in no way of any significance. My partner was screaming like a school girl at the opening of Twilight while I remained calm throughout the whole ordeal. It's going to take more than that to get a rise out of me. I really thought Mother Nature knew that. You're talking to the guy who sleeps through earthquakes and tornadoes and runs out in hail-storms just to get some ice for his Ginger Ale.
Needless to say the deer was killed instantly and the car was totaled. If anything can be taken from this experience it is this: Tom Schultz cannot be stopped. Any time there is an obstacle in my way I will plow through it in a blaze of blood, guts and glory.
Your Invincible Servant,
Uncle Tom
No comments:
Post a Comment