I have really felt special these last few weeks and it's great to get some attention. I've been somewhat removed from society this last year with the campaign and my evil schemes, but now it seems that everyone knows my name. Even though I had to flee Utah and keep a low profile in Iowa, it sure is nice to feel wanted for the burning of the Boys and Girls Club building.
Who knew that pouring gasoline and Jack Daniels all over a local kids' hangout and dropping a match would make such a difference? But I guess after a year of being a lone wolf I had forgotten the sweet joy of making a difference in someone else's life. It's not just the kiddos who want to meet me. Their parents want to know what I was thinking and even the Honorable Police Chief of Provo said he can't wait to run into me.
Even my roommates want me to come forward and they haven't talked to me since the first day of school back in 2009. But there they are on Channel 5 News every night talking about all the interesting stuff I did that they noticed. I've got to be honest, burning down that gathering place for underprivileged children from shaky households was the best decision I ever made.
The best part is even the FBI wants to set up a meeting with me. Do you know how long it has been since I've had guests over to the house? In the past the neighbors would come over ever so often just to see if I was still taking my medication but just a few days ago my house was swarming with guests. Unfortunately I wasn't there to offer them a recreational beverage but it was nice that they stopped by.
Being so popular is great and all but sometimes an arsonist just needs some time to himself, to ponder and burn small things in preparation for bigger burns. So with that in mind I think I'll stay on the down low and just enjoy all this new found attention from afar.
Your Wanted Servant,
Uncle Tom
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