As mothers the world over are showered in gifts and praise today, one mother will go over-looked. This mother has given birth to one of mankind's must valuable resources. It goes without saying that I am that mother.
I don't have a mother in the traditional, limited sense of the word. I gave birth to myself and so technically that makes me a mother too. I'm a self-made man. I deserve all the praise that any mother does and maybe more because mine was more than a 9 month pregnancy. If the truth were to be told, I'm continually pregnant. I'm always being reborn and developing into a more powerful and smarter man.
I would also consider myself a mother to the world as a whole. Not only do I suckle the universe on the milk of my brilliance but I have conceived and nurtured the most diabolically well-crafted political strategies of the current century. My children won't send me flowers or even a ridiculous e-card, but anytime an enemy is crushed by one of my offspring, it's Mothers Day all over again.
Your Matron and Servant,
Uncle Tom
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