The Will of Uncle Tom

WILL OF UNCLE TOM J. S

I, Uncle Tom, being of a sound mind, a resident of the intellectually elite, hereby make this Will and revoke all prior Wills and Codicils.

I was born on Good Friday in Missouri.

I am married to Politics, who I will refer to as "my spouse". We were married on arrival in Las Vegas, Nevada. We have been separated since 2010 by court order.

I have two living children. Profanity, age 8 and Strategy, age 6.

In the event am the sole surviving parent of minor children, then I appoint Ron Paul to serve as their Guardian. If he is unable or unwilling to serve, I appoint Sandra Dutson as Alternate Guardian.

BENEFICIARIES: I give my property to the following persons:

Adam Winchester: A sense that there are more issues than gun control.

Taylor Rhien: The strategy required to win a game of Risk.

Ryan Spitak: All of my politician sports coats, blue shirts, and tan pants.

Kory Shipp: The ability to cuss out total strangers and feel good about it.

Hilary Fullmer: Her right to be treated like a lady instead of "different."

Chris Atkin: A website dedicated to destroying Design Imaging.

Leah Pettit: I will take her secrets to my grave.

Drew Sorber: The ability to make money doing what he loves.

Brenner Meacham: A sound argument.

Peter Wolfley: All the rights to my name, image, likeness, personal journals and writings, notes, etc. in the understanding that he will write my biography.

If any beneficiary under this Will does not survive me by 30 days, then I shall be deemed to have survived such person.

I appoint Titus McKenzie as Executor of my Will, and if he is unable or unwilling to serve, then I name Brock Kannon as alternate Executor. My Executor and alternate shall have all powers granted by applicable laws of my state to carry out all provisions of this Will, may use provisions and procedures for the simplified handling of estates, may hold in trust the share of any minor beneficiary until he reaches age 18, and shall not be required to post a bond.



I, Uncle Tom, hereby sign this Will at my secret hideout on this 4th day of February, 2002.